The first and best advice I can give a new mother or father is one word: surrender. Surrender to being a mother or father and to what that entails. What does it entail? It entails a surrender of selfishness, the most natural of human qualities, and an embrace of the selfless job, or should I say, calling, at hand. Years ago when I was a new father, I resisted this imperative. I would arrive home after a long day at work wanting some “me” time, only to be handed off my son or sons by an overworked wife and mother who had cared for them while I was away. Centered on my needs only, I would try to read a newspaper or magazine or watch my evening news programs, my pre-fathering ritual, as my sons crawled all over me. I finally whispered to myself, “Surrender to being a father.” I changed the channel from the PBS NewsHour to my sons’ favorite Nickelodeon and soon became a fan of SpongeBob SquarePants and his underwater friends at Bikini Bottom. Whispering “Surrender to being a father” helped me toss away my personal selfishness and focus on what really mattered: my children.
Over the years as a practicing physician, I have also begun to whisper to myself, “Surrender to the Art of Medicine.” When the phone rings at 3 a. m. or a patient lands on the clinic doorstep at closing time, I tell myself, “Surrender.” Like parenthood, the art and practice of medicine cannot be well conducted without embracing our profession as a selfless calling of service to others. In our art we experience at inopportune times undesired calls and difficult requirements. In the end we must perceive ourselves as servants. The Great Physician Jesus stressed the need for this surrender in Luke 14:5 when he asked, “Which of you shall have an ass or an ox fallen into a pit, and will not straightway pull him out on the sabbath day?” We should not roll our eyes at the needs of our patients. It is what we signed up for. This is why we went to school and trained for decades. This is our work, and we should embrace it as a calling and a privilege.
Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, a pediatrician, wrote several lovely books exploring suffering and meaning, as well as the work of healers. In her book Kitchen Table Wisdom, she asserts that physicians burn out not because we are putting too much in, but rather because we do not invest enough. We refuse to surrender to the art. At times we even fight it, contorting ourselves to avoid providing care for our patients. The practice of medicine cannot be performed well without this surrender. Remen would also contend that once we surrender we are able to find meaning in the routine tasks of the art, which, in turn, will impart a deep sense of joy and even gratitude.1,2 The next time you feel an inner resistance to the demands of your work, I invite you to whisper, “Surrender to the art.” By surrendering to our art and our calling to minister to others, we can embrace a selflessness which allows us to find beauty and meaning inherent in the privilege of practicing medicine.
Contact me at drluciuslampton@gmail.com. — Lucius M. Lampton, MD, Editor